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Posts Tagged ‘Prerogative’

Here’s one of the informal essays I wrote in my writting class, and it’s about some events in my life, which made me me, hehehe. It’s a little bit long, but I hope I can share something sensible, if not, then what to do, I’ll try again next time :o)

The first time I went to college was against my will, but it was so convenient since I don’t have to worry for anything. I don’t have to work my butt off in order to support myself, I don’t need to worry about rent and monthly bills, and best of, all I don’t need to worry about my costly tuition fee because everything was provided for by my parents. So, why I said it was against my will? Because my parents especially my mother wanted me to take a course that I didn’t like! Being the eldest and always obedient to them, I said yes without even expressing how I really feel, and six years after, I regretted it.

When I was a kid my mother would always tell me that a good daughter always does what her parents asked her to do. As for my Asian culture, it maybe stereotypical to obey the parents orders no matter what, but actually it’s always like that even now a days. My parents are not the ideal parents we see in movies or television, instead they’re the complete opposite. I’m not saying that they’re bad. Of course, they’re good.It’s just that they’re both in the military, and I ended up leaving in a Marshall Law way of life. What I’m trying to say is that, I grew up so restricted, I have to obey first before I complain, or better, just obey and shut up. For twenty years of my life, it was always like that.

I was 16 when I started college, and from that moment, I knew that I started for all the wrong reasons. Instead of confronting it, I ended up in denial that everything will work out. At the beginning, I was somehow enthusiastic and forced myself to study, but as the years passed by, I slowly drifted away and eventually failed. After that, I shifted to another course, the one that my mother didn’t like, and I didn’t it like either.I took it just to provoked my parents and to commenced my so called rebellion. The funny thing about this event is that, I never felt disappointed and sad, instead I felt relieved, and at last I’m free! I was 21 then, and after this incident, I decided to live my life the way I wanted. So, I finished college realizing that I actually didn’t learn anything, and that I missed a lot of my teenage days. I packed my stuff and moved to the capital city and started looking for a job. After a couple of odd jobs,I found one that I really liked. As I lived in the city, I slowly come out from my shell. I started having confidence to myself, believing in my decisions, and trusting my abilities. I started going out with friends, meeting new people, joining some youth oriented clubs that really helps me out to overcome my shyness, and lastly, I met guy whom is now my husband. After three years of living my life and rediscovering myself, an opportunity came for me to move to the USA. At fist I was hesitant to leaved, for the fear that I have to start from the scratch again ,and it may not work out. An unexpected source of support came to me and said, “ You are like a grass, No matter where God put you even in the driest desert you will survive.” It was my mother, whom for 3 years I didn’t have a good relationship because I disobeyed her. So, we patched up and that was the go signal that I needed. I packed my stuff again and traveled for the first time in my life, which I predicted I’d get lost in the airport, and holy cow, what an experienced not to mention scary.

October of 2005 when I moved here to Gainesville, Florida, and it was full of anxiety and anticipation. This is the first time in my life that I am really away from my family and common grounds, but it didn’t stop me, for what I have now is a firm conviction that I’ll prosper and grow just like a grass. Ever since I arrived, I’d been working with Krishna Lunch and until now. What we usually do is that we cater vegetarian food to students at the University of Florida. For two years of working at Krishna Lunch, I encountered different kinds of people and students, and eventually some of them become a good friend.  As I mingled with students everyday, slowly I become envious of them. Envy in the sense that, how I wish I could go back to school again and take the course that I really like, which is Occupational Therapy. Everyday I’m daydreaming that I’m a university student again, like seriously, and that I’m going to graduate soon! I guess this is due to my excessive supply of enthusiasm and optimism, which I’m really proud of, he he he! You may wonder why occupational therapy? It’s simple. As an unfortunate victim of severe vehicular accident, I’d experienced how painful it was to struggle to function again normally. It would have been easier if I had an occupational therapist. Because of this, I would love to help out and to make sure that occupational therapist assistance is accessible. So, in order for me to fulfill one of my dreams, I have to worked my ass off and saved money as possible as I can. At 7 a.m. I’m getting ready for school because my classes are from 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. Of course, my day is still not over because after this, I have to go to my other job that is at Krishna Lunch running from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., and when I’m done, I need to do my assignments, and finished it as early as I can. Whew!

So, as you can see, my second chance in college is not as convenient as the previous one, instead I need to work hard, support myself, worrying on how to pay my bills, and lastly worrying on how to pay my costly tuition fee, but only this time, it’s according to my will. But you know what, even with all of this I’m still happy. I don’t exactly know why, or maybe I’m just crazy, but I guess it’s the feeling of you think that you can’t do it but amazingly, you’ve managed it well. Just like a grass, I will prosper and grow and soon be a successful Occupational Therapist.

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